Home Visit Complete/ Why Ethiopia?

We had our home visit on Wednesday. I'm so glad it's over! The lady was very nice and made us feel very comfortable but it's always a little nerve racking when someone comes into your home to "judge "you. Steve took Madison and Carter to story hour at the library that morning so that I could clean the house. It was probably a little too clean! She asked us many personal questions regarding our marriage and parenting style. It was hard to think of good answers on the spot with Madison running around. It took three hours for her to talk with us and go through the house. She thought everything went very well and she hopes to get our home study complete by the end of April. We have everything we need for our dossier once the home study report is in. I have to wait until the last minute to have the cover letter and power of attorney letter authenticated at the secretary of state office. I'm anxious to get our dossier sent to Ethiopia! I can't wait to get a referral! I can't wait to see the little boy that God has chosen to be our son!

Many people keep asking why we have chosen to adopt from Ethiopia and not America. We have heard quite often "there are many children that need good homes right here in our own country". This is true. Their are so many children here in the United States who do need good homes but our country is so fortunate to have foster homes and not orphanages for these children to live in. I know foster care is not the same as having a family and home to call your own but it's better than living in an orphanage in Africa. The children here get three meals a day, medical care for their every need, go to school and have every opportunity they can dream of. They also have toys to play with and books to read. There are approximately 4.3 million orphans in Ethiopia alone. The children are starving, the medical care is so scarce and awful that many children never see a doctor let alone receive immunizations. The doctor to children ratio is 1 to 24,000. One in five children will die before their fifth birthday. Half of the children will never attend school. The orphanages I worked in had no toys and no books. It doesn't matter to me what country you live in. This is God's world and we are all his children. We all deserve to have a loving family, food to nourish our bodies, medical care when it is needed, and an opportunity to fulfill our dreams. There is a much greater need in Africa and I feel that God is calling us to adopt from Africa.

Busy!

We have been so busy doing paperwork for the home study and dossier. Steve and I have both completed our 10 hour training and read the adoption parenting book and passed the exam. We completed our home study paperwork today with our medical exams and PPD tests. Renee, the social worker is coming to do our home visit on Wednesday the 18th. Hopefully everything will go well! I'm of course going crazy trying to make sure the house is spotless and everything is perfect! She will be here for 3 hours. She needs to inspect the house and talk with Steve and I and the girls. I can only imagine what they'll say! Please pray! Anyway, I've been working on our dossier, which is the paperwork that gets sent to Ethiopia. You can't even imagine how much this is! We need a cover letter and power of attorney letter which needs to be notarized and then authenticated at the Secretary of State office in Albany, all of our home study reports, police clearance letter, passport size photos, certified birth certificates and certified marriage licence, medical reports, family photos, employee letter, bank statements, tax returns, parent letter requesting adoption, reference letters, and parent commitment reports. Everything has to be notarized. I have also sent in our I-600A which is an application for advance processing of orphan petition. Once approved they set up an appointment for Steve and I to go to Syracuse for FBI fingerprints. Steve has also applied for his passport and I called public health to set up an apt. to start the series of immunizations we will need to travel to Ethiopia. They said it would take 2-3 months to complete all of the paperwork. Well if you know me, I worked on it every chance I had and finished everything except for the home study reports in less than a week. Steve is probably about ready to kill me! No, really he has been so wonderful running here and there and helping me to get all of this done. We are both so anxious to complete everything and get it sent to Ethiopia. We can't wait to receive a referral (which is a picture and description of a child waiting to be adopted)! We know our child is out there right now! It all seems overwhelming but we know it's more than worth it. We feel like God has blessed us in so many ways and we can pass that blessing on to a child. In the Bible God commands that we care for the orphans and he rejoices in putting the lonely into families. I wish I could take care of them all. When I went to Africa and worked in the orphanages it really touched my heart. When you hold and look into the eyes of these children who have no family, have never had a hug and a kiss, never been read a bed time story, told that they are loved and that they are somebody, it breaks your heart. I remember this little girl probably 4 or 5 years old who was so sick with a cough and high fever. They made her sit by herself in a chair in the corner of the room so she wouldn't get anyone else sick. It was so sad to me. When my children are sick they want their mommy. I hold them and care for their every need. I hate to see them hurting. These children never have that. They don't get any of their emotional needs met because the few women working in the orphanages are so busy trying to keep up with meeting their physical needs such as being fed. Many times they only receive one or two meals a day which they have to sit in high chairs for hours waiting for. Many of the children didn't even cry anymore because they had learned that it didn't do them any good to cry, no one would meet their need. These children often times never get to go to school. They have no opportunity. It's heartbreaking. My heart has never hurt so much as it did when I cared for baby Mariano. I cared for him like I would my own child. I fell in love with him like he was my own child. When he was so sick I wanted to do anything I could to make him better. I begged the nurse and the lady who ran the orphanage to let me take him to the hospital which they eventually allowed me to do but they couldn't help him. We contacted a pediatrician in the U.S. who sent special formula but that didn't seem to help either. They kept telling me he was going to die but I couldn't hear of it. I wanted to bring him home with me more then I have ever wanted anything. I knew he would receive the best medical care and love. He would be ok. But, Mozambique doesn't do international adoptions. There was nothing I could do but hold him in my arms and watch him die. It was horrible! Saying goodbye to him when it was time for me to leave was awful. I've never felt so helpless. He died 2 weeks later. I still think of him often and continue to grieve for him. When I was in Africa I vowed that one day I would open an orphanage and give all the love I could to these children. Obviously I can't do that at this time in my life but I can help one child. I can open our home and hearts to one child. I can give him love and an opportunity that he may otherwise never had. Sometimes it seems so insufficient to help only one child when their are millions who need help. I keep thinking back to what Mother Theresa said "if you can't feed 100 people then just feed one". I wish that everyone had the opportunity to work in an orphanage. I just know that more people would consider adoption and open their hearts to a child.

Home Study Paperwork

We received the paperwork in the mail yesterday for our home study. WOW! There is a lot of paperwork! We have to complete an information for child abuse form, take fingerprint cards to the police station to be fingerprinted, have a physical by our physician, request five personal references, information forms which includes personal info, educational info, financial info, and extended family info. We each have to write an autobiography and answer an adoption questionnaire. Make photo copies of pay stubs, income taxes, financial statement, birth certificates, marriage certificate, and submit photos of our family and home. I stayed up for hours working on it last night and then couldn't sleep thinking about how much I still had left to do. I understand the need for all the paperwork but it just seems crazy to me that I gave birth to three children and no one even asked if I had a place to live! It's just a little overwhelming right now but it will be worth it in the end! Thank you to everyone for all your support!

Home Study

We have chosen Family Connections to do our home study! They are located in Cortland and do HS for the whole state. It was funny when she asked me what adoption agency we chose and I said CWA, she said she just got off the phone with them regarding a family that just adopted 3 children from Ethiopia! How ironic! The next step is to fill out the application for the home study and submit some documents that can take 6-8 weeks to process. After they receive the paperwork the social worker will come to visit. The social worker that will be doing our home study happens to be the same lady I talked to on the phone. I think her name was Renee but I'm not sure because when she called it was chaos at my house! Carter was screaming in his high chair and I was watching Bocker for Lisa and I had just put all the ingredients on the table to make cookies with him and Madison. They were asking me over and over and over "come on, lets make cookies now!" and while I was on the phone with her I had 4 other calls come in which causes the phone to beep and cut out. I had to keep apologizing and asking her to repeat herself. Great first impression! She's probably thinking "yeah like you need one more kid!" I'll be glad when the home study is done! Their report pretty much determines wheather or not you'll be approved to adopt. Lots of prayer please!